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SPM 50!

3/15/2021

10 Comments

 
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Click here for the SPM 50 webpage.
10 Comments

The Tater Tot Gun!

4/28/2020

2 Comments

 
Have been fixin' to build a spud gun and relive the excitement of seeing tubers launched into the sky through a mildly controlled explosion.  In researching the latest in Potato Gun technology, I came across this gem.  Elise and I built it one afternoon.
2 Comments

The Last Day of Sean's "sabbatical"

11/5/2019

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When it's the last day of your "sabbatical," which also falls on Halloween, you need to wrap up with a bang!
Blame this guy, although I tried to take a less dangerous spin on the design:
​www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10219049143566928&set=a.10201562158083220&type=3&theater
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Our Sophomore Story Effort

9/26/2014

2 Comments

 

The Last banana
by
Elise and daddy

After dinner one night, Elise's tummy said to her, "I'm hungry."  So Daddy asked her, "Would you like a banana?" and Elise said, "Yes, The Last Banana."  Even though there was only one banana, Elise said there were still apples and pears to eat.  Nonetheless, Elise said that, "We need to get more bananas."  And Elise added that we get bananas at the grocery store. Meanwhile, Elise was hard at work eating The Last Banana, while enlightening us with her observation that, "Monkeys like bananas - and so do I." So, she ate it all.

THE END
2 Comments

Mark Your Calendars!

4/25/2014

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Get out your Summer Solstice underwear, because we're throwing a party on June 21st.  It should be a brilliantly good time.  Why?  Live music, I say!  That's right, all the way from Long Island, NY, the talented and entertaining duo, Martin & Lucas will be performing right here at 5 Marmion.  Look for an Evite in the weeks to come.

M & L Logo
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How to Put a Toddler to Bed in 100 Easy Steps (reprinted)

3/17/2014

1 Comment

 
1. Announce that it’s time to go to bed.
2. Wait for your toddler to stop crying
3. Explain that  bedtime is not a punishment
4. Explain that bedtime is not a new concept.
5. Explain that, yes, bedtime will happen every night.
6. Console your toddler.
7. Announce that it’s still bedtime.
8. Let your toddler know that we don’t call names in this house.
9. Tell your toddler it’s time to go upstairs.
10. Watch your toddler move at a snail’s pace.
11. Wait for your toddler to stop crying.
12. Pick up your toddler.
13. Walk your toddler upstairs.
14. Pick out the wrong pair of pajamas for your toddler
15. Pick out another wrong pair of pajamas for your toddler
16. Explain that the right pair of pajamas are in the wash.
17. Explain that you will not be doing a load of laundry this evening
18. Console your toddler while he/she cries
19 Explain that in this house we don’t call names
20. Watch your toddler struggle to get into his/her pajamas
21. Ask your toddler if you can help.
22. Continue watching your toddler struggle.
23. Watch your toddler try to wear a pair of pants like a shirt.
24. Console your toddler.
25. Put the wrong pair of pajamas on your toddler.
26. Announce that it’s time to brush teeth.
27. Explain the benefits of dental hygiene.
28. Console your toddler.
29. Carry your toddler into the bathroom.
30. Put a microscopic amount of toothpaste (poison) on to the toddler toothbrush.
31. Wet toothbrush.
32. When your toddler opens his/her mouth 1/45th of an inch wide, attempt to clean teeth
33. Your toddler will attempt to spit in the sink, but will actually spit on the counter. Clean it up.
34. Console your toddler.
35. Ask your toddler to pick out two books.
36. Toddler will pick out the two longest books in your home.
37. Read the first line of every third page of the two books.
38. Field unrelated questions and interruptions.
39. Tell toddler it’s time for a goodnight kiss.
40. Toddler will be suddenly and urgently thirsty, give toddler a small drink of water.
41. Toddler will ask a question. Answer question.
42. Say “goodnight” and kiss toddler.
43. Toddler will ask for a hug. Hug toddler.
44. Toddler will take up a sudden interest in potty training and ask to use the bathroom. It’s poop.
45. Help toddler in the bathroom. Notice that there is no poop.
46. Todder may become afraid. Assure toddler that there is nothing to be afraid of.
47. Toddler will ask a question about life. Answer question.
48. Toddler will need another hug and kiss. Give hug and kiss.
49. Toddler needs to urinate. Help toddler in the bathroom. Notice that toddler actually urinates.
50. Toddler requires a sticker for urinating successfully.
51. Put a sticker on toddler’s potty chart.
52. Toddler may want to tell you a brief ten minute story. Listen to story while backing out of the room.
53. Turn off the light.
54. Toddler remembers that he/she needs a special stuffed animal.
55. Ask where the stuffed animal is.
56. Toddler tells you it’s in the car. Find your keys and look in the car. It’s not there.
57. Look in the living room.
58. Look in the kitchen.
59. Look in the backyard.
60. Scout the neighbor’s property.
61. Find the toy in your toddler’s room, under the bed.
62. Ask toddler if he/she knew the toy was under their bed.
63. Toddler will ask for dinner. Explain to toddler that dinner ended hours ago.
64. Toddler will cry that he/she is hungry. Explain to toddler that he/she should have eaten said dinner.
65. Explain that we do not call people in this house names.
66. Toddler will ask for hug and kiss. Hug and kiss toddler.
67. Toddler will ask you to help arrange his/her pillows and blankets. Arrange pillows and blankets.
68. Toddler will ask you to three essay questions. Answer them.
69.  Toddler will notice that the tag end of the blanket is next to his/her face and will kick it off.  Fix blanket, this time with care and precision.
70. Toddler will ask for the hall light on. Turn on the hall light.
71. Toddler will ask for another story. Explain that there will be no more stories.
72. Toddler will ask what the plan for tomorrow is. Resist the urge to say, “I won’t be here. I’m running away tonight.”
73. Tell toddler “goodnight.:
74. Toddler will say his/her back, legs, or butt is itchy.
75. At your discretion, try to relieve itchiness through lotion or wipes.
76. Put toddler back in bed.
77. Arrange blanket in the proper formation.
78. Say goodnight.
79. Toddler will say “Goodnight.”
80. As you reach the door, toddler will inform you that he/she is not wearing socks.
81. Choose the wrong pair of socks for your toddler.
82. Choose another wrong pair of socks for your toddler.
83. Choose the right pair of socks for your toddler.
84. Put the right pair of socks the wrong way on your toddler’s feet.
85. Put the right pair of socks the wrong way on your toddler’s feet.
86. Get the right pair of socks the right way on your toddler’s feet.
87. Use your last thread of energy to stand.
88. Say “goodnight.”
89. Toddler will say “goodnight.”
90. As you leave the room, toddler will ask for a sip of water with pathetic sad look on face.
91. Give toddler sip of water and beg to be released from this hades.
92. Toddler will ask for a back rub/tapping.
93. Tap toddler’s back until you lose feeling in your arm and your toddler seems tired.
94. Slowly stop tapping. Stand up. Try to float out of the room.
95. Toddler will look at you. Say, “it’s time to go to bed.”
96. If toddler cries, pretend to be serious this time.
97. Say “goodnight.”
98. Act like you’re walking downstairs but just linger by the door, out of sight.
99. Pray
100. Walk downstairs

You may now relax for 2-5 minutes before you’re called back in. Congrats!

REPRINTED FROM THE HONEST TODDLER BLOG.
1 Comment

Checkmates

11/29/2013

1 Comment

 
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Twas the night after Thanksgiving, and as the turkey grew cold, a chess match developed, between a master and a two-year-old.

The pieces were moved with thought and care, as the tiny Bostonian faced off against the mighty Long Island Bear.

Pawn to king-3, and bishop to Queen-4, the opponents battled fiercely as knights and rooks fell to the floor.

Chins were scratched and all looked on while the pace grew faster; in short time, the student was becoming the master.

And how could it be, that at 10 times her weight,
by the end of the night, the big man found himself in CHECKMATE!


1 Comment

Laughter as the Best Medicine

1/6/2013

2 Comments

 
As some of you know, this has been a tough few days for us - our good buddy Cosmo had to undergo major abdominal surgery on Friday to remove a stone from one of his ureters as well as one from his bladder.  All went well, but he's in pretty tough shape and we miss him greatly.  (He comes home Sunday!)  As they say, laughter is the best medicine, and while I was eating a Kane's Donut this morning, I had a rather amusing thought pop into my head.  The thought quickly germinated into the following post.  Enjoy and hopefully it will bring a laugh.

Eating a Kane's Donut is like having a –5-hour ENERGY drink.  (To clarify, I fail to experience the sugar high from eating such a rich donut, instead only feeling the subsequent food coma.)  What is a –5-hour ENERGY drink, you ask?  Read on.

About

Have a lot on your plate today?  Don’t really feel like doing any of it?  Lying around on the couch watching a day-long marathon of Battlestar Gallatica sound good to you?  If so, then you need –5-hour ENERGY!

Made for people who want to do nothing

Finding the ability to avoid work and family responsibilities is hard enough. Throw in a second job, go back to school, or simply have a restful night of sleep, and you’re bound to hit the ground running. So what do you do? Run for the Twinkies? Grab a couple glasses of red wine? But how long does that last before you need more? Try this instead:  Take one –5-hour ENERGY shot. It’s quick, simple, and made to help slackers like you.

What's in –5-hour ENERGY?

Made from the equivalent of a dozen glazed donuts, a hungry man stack of pancakes, and a full plate of Thanksgiving turkey, –5-hour ENERGY is sure to put you in a state of complete apathy and fatigue.  In fact, –5-hour ENERGY is so effective, you will come within inches of losing all will to live.

Why try –5-hour ENERGY?

  • Quick, simple, and effective
  • Fast and easy to consume
  • Zero herbal stimulants
  • 14,000 calories!
  • No vitamins nor amino acids
  • As much tryptophan as half a breast of a 16-lb turkey
  • Also available in –10-hour ENERGY version*
  •  Non carbonated
*There is a 1 in 5 chance of slipping into a coma when using –10-hour ENERGY.
2 Comments

Summer Top 10 List

9/3/2012

2 Comments

 
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With summer coming to a close and the need for a fresh post ...

The Top 10 Reasons You Know You've Had a Memorable Summer:
    10. You sold your home
    9. You bought a new home.
    8. You closed on both homes on the same day!
    7. You and your family spent 12 days living in your brother-in-law's apartment
    6. You moved - ugh
    5. You bought your first lawnmower
    4. You swam and played in the ocean
    3. You spent a week on Martha's Vineyard
    2. Your daughter started walking
    1. Babies,  infants, and toddlers - oh my!

2 Comments

The Daddy and Me Experiment

5/18/2012

6 Comments

 
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A lifelong friend of Jess' was having a get-together in Islip for her 40th birthday this past Friday night.  Jess left early that morning and it was "Sean in Charge."  Off to daycare Elise went, without a hitch.  The pickup later that day, also, smooth.  Their evening went fine.  Sean made Alphabets for the two of them and Elise enjoyed several bites before crashing - she had had a big day at daycare.  No problem - time for bed.  Bedtime went off without a hitch and Elise slept the night.  Perfect.

The next day, Sean and Elise did a lot of of Daddy and Me bonding.  They enjoyed some waffles for breakfast, followed by a long walk down to the Charlestown Marina, where the USS Constitution is berthed.  Elise napped on the way home and for a good hour afterwards.  Grilled cheese was on the menu for lunch - yum, yum.

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After lunch, it was time for a hike!  Off to the Fells they went.  Sean and Elise spent an hour walking through the woods and taking in the serenity of nature.  The ride back was enough to induce a second nap for Elise.  After waking, the two played and anxiously awaited Mommy's arrival at South Station by train.  They then picked up Mommy and everyone was glad to see each other.

All in all, a great two days.  Oh, and did I mention Sean gave Elise 1/2 & 1/2 instead of milk. ;)

6 Comments
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